Ultra-muddled thoughts of an impatient youth
Last night, I finally decided that I would not hold back or wait for others to come beside me when it came to this service. I knew if I did hold back and push others forward, the meeting would not work... Last time we did one of these services, it was at a nursing home. Yes, it was harder because there was a difference in the condition of the people at the service but even so, there was also some difficulty with simply trying to make things happen! There were moments when things would just stop and you would wonder who was going to get it going again. Indecision! Who is in charge?
This time was going to be different--and it was. If I just up and ran the whole meeting, there would be no arguments because no one else wanted to do it anyway! It would eliminate the problem of indecision--one person leading and speaking. But what of the cost? I need to have some kind of hope that stepping forward as I did, I didn't just peg myself as the one person who will do this kind of thing! I need to believe that there are young people other than myself who are willing to step forward and serve! It's a scary thought!
My thoughts stray to this evening at church.
Uncle Paul asked me if I could lead the song service in his absence, which I did. Simple enough--you just start a ten minute block of time with a song and ask for selections after that! But wait! The only other people who lead this thing are mostly officers in the church (uncle Paul is a deacon)! Where does that put me!? That's another scary thought!
Time is short--I promised *someone* that I would be off by a certain time and that time has arrived.